Myself & I

8/4/96

Why are there always two questions,
why are there always two answers.
Why do I put up with this insidious dualism,
my nature of life, my biphasic entity.

Happy to do nothing with someone important,
happy to do everything with anyone at all.
Day to day, I skirt the compromise,
walking the purgatory between my hemispheres,
reading the navigational signs of my mind
while boating the rapids of my heart.

Sometimes it's so easy to sit and look at the world,
see its complete majestic beauty,
its continuity and its chaos,
rising and falling 
with every breath of some mythological creature
as the hands yearn to speak a language
long since forgotten in the annals of technology.

Sometimes it's even easier to stand and walk away,
ignoring the sights and sounds that surround me,
castrating the emotional nature of life,
the stoic young professional,
biting his nails, biding his times,
collecting his paycheck after stressing his life.

(And then there are those times when I laugh
with wonder while running around the office,
smiling and joking and watching the eyes around me
brighten as everyone takes a break from their day
to be entertained by a traveling fool.)

I'm not freak of nature.
Just successful and wild,
childlike and mature.

I can't stand the constant bickering,
the constant wondering,
the constant insanity,
yet I enjoy it immensely.

Today I want to be alone,
tomorrow I want to be with friends,
next week I want to be alone with my friends,
and at the same time I want to be one with my lover.

Diversity. Adaptability.
Key attributes in the survival of species.
Duality. Mystery.
Key attributes in the confusion of man.

Look at me and tell me what you see,
I'm tired of trying to figure it out.
Wait a moment, and I'll tell you how I am.
It's simply a challenge to overcome.

Nothing to do but accept the idea,
nothing to do but accept the fact,
(because both people must be represented)
that there's complexity in people,
and that's as simple as it gets.